Donnerstag, 29. Januar 2009

Hey...



It's been over a year since I last posted here.

Freitag, 5. Oktober 2007

Two weeks have passed since my last post. And I don't have much to say. Maybe that I like David Gilmour now...


Awww, isn't he pretty?!

Mittwoch, 19. September 2007

Dedicated to Fabienne. :) It's her special day today.

Fabienne’s birthday cheesecake

Thom reels around to look at Jonny by his side. He is fast asleep, hair hanging in his face. It is twenty-four hours since he has last slept with him and it is coming onto him. He would like to bury his hands in Jonny’s silky hair, his nose pressing against Jonny’s cheek while he places tender kisses onto his full soft lips. Things have been easy lately, no problems within the band and actually Thom should feel perfectly happy. But he doesn’t. Something keeps coming back to his mind and he can’t stop that thought.
He turns away from Jonny and stares out the window to recollect his thoughts. All he knows is that he is in love with someone who loves him too and that should be it. That should be the final answer, the final statement. But there is something, still something he hasn’t found yet. He scratches his head and looks back at Jonny and then out the window again. A beautiful man he was, that Jonny. Long limbs, lanky and broad hips, sharp cheekbones and a full mouth. That was what he was. Besides the most adorable person he has ever known. And he keeps looking at him, but he feels all so empty.
He closes his eyes and hopes for that soothing feeling to come back, the feeling that is constantly fighting the emptiness all inside him. Jonny has always been gentle and kind to him, always understanding, always there when he needed him. Jonny is the only person who he shares his deepest secrets with. And after a good talk with him, he always felt better, some of his old joy was restored and he could go on living his live. It should all be clear then.
The answers disappear when he opens his eyes.

Several miles away, someone lies awake in his bedroom and is staring at the ceiling. Several miles away, there is someone who doesn’t smile, who doesn’t feel anything, who has become utterly emotionless. His thoughts are circling around only one topic.
He is gazing at nothing in particular and tries to ignore the agony that has taken hold of his heart, which tears him completely to pieces. His body is resting on his eiderdown, his head is buried in a pillow and his hands are lying by his side. Colin silently rests on his bed, as he has done for hours now. As the many days he has done before.
The phone on his bedside table is ringing. He doesn’t pay attention to it and keeps gazing. By now, he has stopped thinking already and lets the feeling sink in. Maybe he will fall asleep, maybe he will stay awake the whole night, it doesn’t matter. Maybe he will have something to eat, maybe he will go to the bathroom, maybe he will stay where he is after all. And the phone has stopped ringing and his mind is back onto… nothing. That nothingness he has been thinking about the past few hours, that nothingness that always is on his mind. The nothingness that his life has become, maybe always has been.
His eyes flick over to the nightstand and over to the trees outside, illuminated by the street lamps. They look more alive than he feels, they seem to still have hope. Even though they are just… trees. Plants. They seem to have more inside than he does. But that is not diffcult, how much less can there be than nothing at all? But maybe that is more than he thinks it is. Nothing.
He doesn’t know how much time has passed, but the doorbell rings downstairs. He is all alone and he wonders who could visit him at this hour. Slowly, he gets up from his bed and walks down the stairs… The doorbell rings again, this time longer. It almost seems as if someone had to come to him very urgently, as if something bad has happened. Colin speeds up to reach the door before whoever it was would go away again. After all, it was very dark outside.
He opens the door and finds Thom. Thom looks as if he had just gotten out of bed and he flashes him a smile. Colin finds it hard to return anything, so he just attempts a smile which is rather a grimace.
Thom steps inside and only now Colin can see how tired his eyes look, how…
“Colin.”
He throws his arms around him and Colin clasps onto him tightly. He can’t remember when the last time was that Thom had hugged him and it doesn’t matter to him anyway. All that seems important to him that very moment is Thom with his arms around him.
“How are you doing?”
Colin doesn’t dare looking at his friend and decides for a simple shrug.
“You look horrible,” Thom says honestly and takes Colin over to the couch in the living room.
“I… I don’t… Everything’s okay Thom, really,” Colin struggles to say as Thom sets him down beside him. He moves away from Thom to the other end of the couch, but Thom holds onto his shoulder with his hand and mutters,
“Relax. I need some information first. Just the basic facts. Can you show me where it hurts?”
Colin shakes his head and looks away. But Thom doesn’t want him to look away.
“Open up your eyes, just open up your eyes.”
“You can say what you mean, but it won't change a thing.”
Thom gasps and asks worriedly, “Colin, what’s wrong?!”
Colin doesn’t answer.
“You're an emotional wreck, you don't know who you are!” Thom exclaims and hugs his friend tightly.
What does it matter anyway when he doesn’t understand what’s going on? Colin looks at Thom again and whispers, “Your lips move, but I can’t hear what you’re saying.”
Thom’s face twists into an ugly grimace, his face becomes paler and he responds, “But I’m still fond of you.”
Colin looks back at Thom and feels tears stinging in his eyes. “Now I’ve got that feeling once again, I can’t explain… You will not understand. This is not how I am.”
This time, Thom doesn’t respond and just keeps staring at Colin. All so intently, all so worriedly.
“I close my eyes and squeeze you from my consciousness,” Colin breaths and squeezes his eyes shut, hoping for Thom to disappear, hoping for him to have never existed, hoping for nothing but air to be there in front of him. But then he opens his eyes again and there is Thom.
“What you need is someone like me.” It is almost a plea and Thom’s facial expression looks as honest as possible.
“Well, if I were you, I wouldn’t bother,” Colin says dryly. “I can't tell you the way I feel 'cos the way I feel is also new to me.”
“Every time I’m around, you try to leave, but I’ll be standing in your way,” Thom threatens. “Why are you doing this? Why do you keep doing that, Colin? I have tried to talk to you several times because I am really worried. You have been behaving strange lately… Don’t you think that I am worried?!”
Colin looks at Thom and the tears don’t seem to reflect what he feels inside. Inside, there is no sadness, nothing that could show anything to Thom. The only thing he can think of is an explanation as simple as imaginable.
“I turn to look but it was gone, I cannot put my finger on it now. The child has grown, the dream is gone. I have become comfortably numb.”
“It's just in case you're never breathing out before you're breathing in.”
Thom has moved closer to Colin, his nose now only inches apart from Colin’s and he reaches a hand out to touch his hair. Colin stops moving, he stops breathing and he keeps staring into those eyes and he feels breath on his skin. Hot, stinging breath.
“And that moment that you live for, it doesn’t live for you.”
That are the last words before Thom presses his lips against Colin’s, before Colin’s mind has gone away, miles away… His brain doesn’t seem to register what is happening and he feels Thom’s soft body on his as they lie down on the couch and Thom’s hands are finally moving through his hair. For minutes nothing except for the two of them seems to exist. And then Thom’s hands find their way to Colin’s trousers and he is about to unzip them, when
“This far, but not further,” Colin begs silently.
“What the hell, you've got nothing more to loose!” Thom stares at Colin incredulously.
“After years of waiting nothing came... Why should there be anything now?”
Something grips at Colin’s heart again and his eyes don’t want to look at Thom anymore. He tries to reject his thoughts, tries to ignore…
“When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep…” Thom caresses Colin’s cheeks. “All I need from you is all your love. All you’ll ever give to me is all your love…”
“I'm at the crossroads waiting for a sign. My life is standing still, but I'm still alive. Every night I think I know… In the morning where did it go?”
“My, my, my, I’m so happy. That’s the way, that’s the way it oughtta be.” Thom keeps kissing Colin, but Colin doesn’t listen.
“Every night I hear you scream, but you don't say what you mean. This was my dream, but now my dream has flown.”
“I said it’s alright, you know it’s alright. You know it’s all in my heart.”
Another kiss and then Thom is off Colin again. And he looks down at him sadly.
“When am I gonna see that pretty face again?”
Colin replies Thom’s glance and mutters, “I'd like to sing along though the words are wrong.”
“You had me for a moment, grab on while you can.”
“And I crawl back into your open arms.”
They smile at each other and Colin doesn’t even know where it comes from and why he had smiled at all… And Thom kisses him once more before he leaves. He promises Colin to come back as soon as possible. They are standing at the front door and Thom says a few last words.
“Got a feeling inside, can’t explain… It’s a certain kind, can’t explain. I said… can’t explain. I’m feeling good now yeah, but… can’t explain. I know what it means, but… can’t explain. I thinks it’s love, try to say it to you when I feel blue.”
And then he is gone. He left. And Colin is back on his bed again and thinking again of… this… nothingness.

Montag, 17. September 2007

Today is quite a Jonesy day.


I also noticed how incredibly great the bass is on Led Zeppelin III. On Gallows Pole and The Immigrant Song. I used to only realize the great co-operation between guitar and drums... But the bass. Man, it's cool.

And the bass on Out On The Tiles is equally amazing.

Samstag, 8. September 2007

So...

This is my last post before I go to England. So to say, I'll be gone for a week. I'll return next Friday.






Ah, them two guys...



Oi, that's it for now then...

Freitag, 7. September 2007

Good evening.

So, last night I enjoyed a chat with a friend of mine on MSN. First, I started to make anagrams with the "Anagram Genius", and we both figured out some of the most interesting results. :D

The second part came to existance because I went to neopets and I figured out that some people give themselves and their neopets interesting name. The highlight is Jimmy Page, the petpet. But look for yourselves.



Starry debt. / Dry best rat. = Syd Barrett

'Enjoy wrong node.'

Fine bean.

Weeviled crooning loo = I love Colin Greenwood.

This epic male = Michael Stipe

Best or croon = Conor Oberst

Cauterise to sorrow's ego =
Roger Waters is sooo cute.

Aggravate grisliest auditorium = Dave Gilmour is a great guitarist.

Cravenly fooled hostilely = Colin loves the early Floyd.

Harm ga-ga yell =
Amy Gallagher

Beggar shallower, honest harlot = Noel Gallagher has two brothers.


I am a "reasonable hum".

Halo glares gleam = Salome Gallagher

Lose now adore gem = Salome Greenwood

F: "Beanie Fine Men Inn"


A seemly or OK. = Salome Yorke

Evil win a dwarfish headache. = When I was a child I had a fever

Chubbily beat overcommon fame. = I have become comfortably numb

*loool* That reminds me of Dave Gilmour.

Vulgar amok discusses. = Dave Gilmour sucks ass.

F: "Enema Bin Fine Nine"


Mad of vulgarities. = Dave Gilmour is fat.

F: enema bin

Dave Gilmour stinks. = Vomiting sulks dear.

F: "Nae Be Feminine Inn"

Now hoariest wriggler harasser. = Roger Waters wears his hair long.

Fix needle banana. - Trim desecrate cheeky meathead. = Alex and Fabienne - The Dirty Cheesecake Dream Team.

Stormlike as cool-headedly. = Thom Yorke is also called Ed.

Adorably wreck high-risk petty. = Rick Wright plays the keyboard.

F: "Membrane Foment Joy" - "Member of Team Jonny"

Machismo spanks redundantly. = And Nick Mason plays the drums.

F: "Frame Mob Enjoyment"

Essence grieve. = recessive gene

F: "Enjoyment From Beam"

Feeble, snootier darkening. = Fabienne doesn\'t like Roger.


Avenger's rawest trollops. = Roger Waters loves plants.

Doped joy mismanages. = And so does Jimmy Page.


Transported felon rambling. = Robert Plant is from England.

Joy! Heftiness bawdiness Bonnie. = Fabienne is obsessed with Jonny.

Horny, banal hijacks. = Jonny has black hair.

Mainly jerk horn. = Like Johnny Marr.

_____________________________________________________________________

I just tried to create a neopet with the name Roger Waters.
But the name already exists.
That is fucking weird!

And so is George Roger Waters.


http://www.neopets.com/petlookup.phtml?pet=RogerWaters


http://www.neopets.com/userlookup.phtml?user=roger_waters

http://www.neopets.com/petlookup.phtml?pet=George_Roger_Waters
This person is called asaucerfulofsecrets.

http://www.neopets.com/petlookup.phtml?pet=Dave_Gilmour


http://www.neopets.com/petlookup.phtml?pet=syd_barrett

http://www.neopets.com/petlookup.phtml?pet=Thom_yorke

F: gender: female

Me: We have discovered something new about him.

OOOOOH, both Roger Waters and Thom Yorke are on Neopets!

http://www.neopets.com/petlookup.phtml?pet=Michael_stipe

http://www.neopets.com/userlookup.phtml?user=colin_greenwood
I think they have way too much time on their hands.

Bloody hell, Michael Stipe?!?!

Oh God, his petpet is called Jimmy Page!

http://www.neopets.com/petlookup.phtml?pet=jimmy_page
What the hell. Stairway2heaven

http://www.neopets.com/userlookup.phtml?user=syd_barrett

http://www.neopets.com/userlookup.phtml?user=pink_floyd

http://www.neopets.com/petlookup.phtml?pet=Liam_Gallagher

http://www.neopets.com/userlookup.phtml?user=oasisfan11

http://www.neopets.com/petlookup.phtml?pet=radiohead

Oooh, Mark Gardener doesn't exist! I am going to make Mark Gardener!

http://www.neopets.com/petlookup.phtml?pet=robert_smith

http://www.neopets.com/petlookup.phtml?pet=Mark_Gardener

http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y39/woodpecker_casablancas/Oasis/WtfOasis.jpg
Liam looks a bit gay in this pic.

Donnerstag, 6. September 2007

Hello there!

A new day and new things can be done, yay!

But now I think it is some time for:





SYD!